I recently had to take the GRE, and I did pretty shitty on the math portion. This was expected, and I’m not too bothered by it. However, it got me thinking. Why can’t we have specialized math sections for math-impaired individuals? I present my version: Copy Editor Math.

1. Susan’s daughter, Betty, eats seven pears on Monday and three on Tuesday. How many daughters does Susan have?
1
2 or more
Cannot be determined

2. Marge’s son Donald sleeps in a tepee that is 16 feet wide and 9 feet tall. Is Donald an only child?
Yes
No
Cannot be determined

3. Hungry Marcus orders four entrees but eats only 75 percent of them. Ravenous Lily orders six entrees but sends one-third back to the kitchen. How many accents aigus are missing from the previous two sentences?
2
4
6
None. Everyone knows they’re missing accents graves

4. Traveling Evelyn has saved $1,276 for one week in Paris, $738 for one week in Bamako, and $2,098 for one week in Mumbai. How much money has she saved?
Three week’s worth
Three weeks’ worth
Three weeks worth

5. Joe’s sister Caroline said she was going to jump off the roof. If Caroline’s a goner, how many siblings will Joe have left?
0
1
2 or more
Cannot be determined