how not to find an apartment in new york city

Usually the Times’ Hunt column convinces you that people have found the perfect place and are very, very happy in their new home. But I think today’s couple got hoodwinked.

First off, you should probably use Craigslist. The woman’s friends advised her not to use Craigslist “but offered no good alternatives.” I’m not sure why they would advise against it, especially if they can’t provide another option.

Second, never pay a huge broker’s fee unless you enjoy wasting money—this couple paid a $2,500 broker’s fee on a West Harlem unit going for $1,350 a month. That’s nice that your friends told you not to use Craigslist but they didn’t bother to tell you not to pay some con artist broker almost two months’ rent. Okay, okay, I’m not saying he’s definitely a con artist, but gee that’s a lot of money! (Side note: I think it’s hilarious that when NYC brokers say “low fee,” it means only one month’s rent.)

Plus, they had to pay the two months’ security deposit, on top of first and last to live on West 138th, which is great and fine, but it’s not a high-demand neighborhood, and the broker may very well have had a hard time renting the place anyway. (A broker I talked to at a no-fee West Harlem showing last fall told me the economy’s so bad that brokers just want to rent quickly, and most can be talked down from a 15 percent fee to a one-month fee. Worth a shot.)

Alas, our story doesn’t even have a happy ending! “The building has quirks: The buzzer doesn’t work; neighbors leave oversized bags of smelly garbage wedged in the trash chute; water has started dripping from the bathroom ceiling.”

Oh my. I hope they learn to love it. Regardless, it’s way too frustrating to search for an apartment in this city. I looked at countless duds when I had to move again in September, and sometimes it makes me sad that I spend so much money on rent, and if I lived somewhere cheaper, I could pay back more debts and even travel.

But I draw the line at a $2,500 broker’s fee.